


I Know Not of Lethe nor Nepenthe, But I Know Odd When I See It

by ColorfulDolce



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Cecil is Inhuman, Kinkmeme, M/M, Night Vale has a bad fashion sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-24
Updated: 2013-08-24
Packaged: 2017-12-24 12:01:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/939782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorfulDolce/pseuds/ColorfulDolce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil is worried about Carlos being the resident outsider, and tries to manipulate his thinking so that he'll have less trouble fitting in because hey, that' what a good boyfriend is supposed to do, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know Not of Lethe nor Nepenthe, But I Know Odd When I See It

**Author's Note:**

> aaah my first fill!! also my first fic for WTNV ahaha uvua;;  
> Man I hope I got their characterization right. Also this is unbeta'd and I haven't really written a fanfic in a while, man I hope I'm not TOO rusty ahaha ;v;  
> anyways, fill for this prompt http://nightvalecommunitykink.dreamwidth.org/822.html?thread=464694
> 
> Man I hope I did this right ksdg

Cecil loved Carlos. Absolutely adored him. He would show up at his boyfriend's every beck and call, daylight, no light, radioactive light, mysterious lights or otherwise. There wasn't a thing he wouldn't do for the man.

However, the less he had to do, the better.

-

He sighed contently, carding his hands through his boyfriend's perfect and beautiful hair. Apparently, he had voiced the fact out loud, if Carlos' pink cheeks were anything to go by.

“It's really not. I mean, it won't stay down whenever I brush it, and it's so thick that it tangles really easily. Besides I have gray hairs. I'm not even forty yet,” Carlos refuted. Cecil sighed again, this time in a small bout of disappointment.

“Oh, my sweet, sweet Carlos. Your hair is the absolute epitome of perfection! You know, it reminds me of the Lethe. I feel as though I could dive into the depths of your cabello and forget the world around me,” he assured, turning to kiss Carlos' temple. For his part, Carlos was a bit perturbed─what with being compared to a river in the underworld─but he felt his lips twitch towards a smile when Cecil said “cabello”. Really, it was rather sweet of him to try complimenting Carlos in Carlos' native tongue. He scratched his cheek, pursing his lips slightly in an attempt to keep that smile at bay.

“Oh. Uhm. That's nice─I mean thanks.” Smooth. Cecil smiled, going back to carding his hands through Carlos' hair before nuzzling it and inhaling a lovely perfume of allspice.

“Anything for my precious River Lethe.”

-

Humans were awfully strange, Cecil decided. They did not understand elementary concepts, such as how death was a privilege, not a right. Or that mountains didn't exist. Honestly, these were taught to children in first grade! Humans were definitely strange. Night Vale seemed to agree with him. He could remember those rare times when outsiders would move into town, only to be found dead the next day, rocking in a corner within the first week, or fleeing into the desert (or maybe to Desert Bluffs, Cecil mused with distaste. Ugh, what a dump).

He was actually surprised that none of those happened to Carlos, despite his being here for over a year now. Nearly two years in fact. He attributed it to the fact that his love for Carlos was transcending into the fourth dimension, creating a jarring shift in the Space-Time Continuum and delaying Night Vale's inevitable “wrath”. It was more of an initiation really. All outsiders and most residents had to be initiated at some point, after all. Unfortunately, most outsiders did not have the proper upbringing to successfully navigate the usual initiation, and so their fragile human psyche was torn to pieces and they were left with what the Council had dubbed “Chum”.

Cecil smiled as he thought of those cute little sharks that resided in the Night Vale Aquarium and Seafood Diner. They certainly had hit a growth spurt after switching from tropical fish pellets to Chum.

However, he as much as he liked those cute animals, he loved Carlos much much more, and would not stand he be dubbed Chum. So, like any good boyfriend, he was going to accustom the scientist to Night Vale and all of its “oddities” (or so Carlos thought. For a scientist, he was strangely out-of-touch with what was normal and what was odd.)

-

“Cecil, is this really nec─”

“Which one do you like better? The blue, or the chartreuse? Actually, I think the puce brings out your eyes more...” he frowned, rubbing his chin with his hand.

“Cecil, really, I appreciate the thought, but I really don't need new pants. Let alone furry pants,” Carlos said, heading over to take the pants out of Cecil's....tentacles. He still wasn't sure how to feel about them. Scientifically speaking, they were of the utmost interest. They appeared to be like normal tentacles, only more sentient and free of any suction cups like one would expect. However, rationally speaking, they were terrifying. He'd seen Cecil accidentally crush a doorknob and rip the door itself off its hinges with those tentacles once, when the man had worked himself into a fit talking about Steve Carlsberg and his hubcaps. He's seen the damage those appendages could do.

“What's wrong with furry pants?” Cecil asked, bringing Carlos out of his reverie. The radio host looked so hurt, and Carlos immediately backtracked, “Oh nothing nothing!! You look great in them I just...don't think they're my style, you know?" 

"Carlos, everything is your style! I bet you could even work a pair of Nightmare skin boots! A word of caution if you buy them, though: Always have some water with you. Those feisty shoes combust sometimes," he quipped, taking the furry pants away. "You know, I think blue fits you better."  
Carlos merely sighed in resignation, trudging after Cecil to the cash register. He wore the pants the next day, hoping that if Cecil saw him in them, he would be satisfied and Carlos would never have to wear them ever again.

Cecil was so ecstatic that Carlos decided to wear the pants quite a bit, and maybe buy one or two more pairs, for his boyfriend's sake. 

-

Carlos was a scientist, not an actor, but he certainly thought he deserved an award for acting right about now. He and Cecil certainly have made out before, but they've definitely never made out while Cecil's tentacles were slipping under his shirt and caressing his sides. Under normal circumstances, such an act would have been pleasant, but right now all Carlos could think of was Cecil staring at an unhinged door in surprise, sighing as he looked at the crushed door handle and blaming it on Steve Carlsberg when it was obvious that it was those ridiculously dangerous appendages that were currently wrapping around his torso─  
Carlos lost his train of thought as Cecil kissed him, softly, sweetly. The man cupped his cheeks and Carlos could have sworn he tasted honey, felt it slide down his throat, sedating him and relaxing him. But that was ridiculous. Cecil was simply that wonderful of a kisser. Something shifted underneath his shirt, and Carlos remembered the tentacles. He smiled, breaking away from the kiss to catch his breath and enjoy the familiar feeling of being wrapped up in Cecil's (somewhat damp) embrace.

"Carlos, Carlos, Carlos. Beautiful, perfect, gorgeous Carlos. Your hair is my Lethe, your kisses my Nepenthe. Oh, how I wish we had the proper amount of time in out Dating Catalogue so that I could get the proper papers to have City Council allow us to take the Long Term Relationship Blood Oath and give us our subsequent Extended Dating Manual," Cecil said, pulling Carlos towards him and wrapping his arms around him as well. Carlos hummed, tilting his head up and kissing Cecil's chin.

"You know, where I'm from, people just say they're 'going steady'. There's no City Council mandated oaths or anything," he replied, leaning back against Cecil's shoulder. He noted that he didn't think anything of being compared to poisons or hell rivers, but he didn't care. That was probably just how compliments worked in Night Vale.

"Really? Well that's odd."

"I think it's actually pretty normal."

"No, no no that is definitely odd. Without the City Council, how are we supposed to figure out what to do with ourselves?" Cecil asked, his voice taking on the tone that he usually reserved for broadcasts. Carlos rolled his eyes, saying, "Well....In a relationship you usually figure things out as you go. You don't need a manual or anything, although I suppose that would come in handy when you fight─"

"Fight?! With my dear Carlos?! Carlos, what sort of blasphemous being put that thought into your mind!" he exclaimed, looking down at his love, "Why, just the thought! No, no we are definitely getting the Extended Dating Manual."

"Cecil, come on now. You're being ridiculous."

"No I'm being perfectly rational."

"Cecil."

"Carlos."

The Eldritch let go of Carlos, moving so that they were face to face. He placed his hands on he other's cheeks, rubbing his cheek bones and looking at him straight in the eyes.

"Carlos, think about it. City Council has given us such wonderful things, like safety from Wheat and Wheat By-Products, mandated meals at Big Rico's, a beautiful dog park that we aren't acknowledging. Remember when they saved us from those plastic bags? In fact, without City Council's wonderful guidance, I wouldn't even be able to kiss you," Cecil explained, his voice once again donning the same tone as it did when he was on air. It had an obvious effect, and Carlos sighed through his nose.

"Really, I don't see how they're so great and why we need some manual, but if that's what you believe then alright."

"Neat!"

-

Using his Eldritch powers may have been a tad bit unfair, Cecil admits, but it's really for Carlos' own good!! After all, the man nearly got arrested for refusing to participate in the town's recreational Screaming at the Sky Day, so using his powers to...encourage Carlos to join in wasn't so bad.  
The crippling anxiety and fear of not fitting in was a necessary and effective incentive to get Carlos to participate in those fun activities. And it usually leaves Carlos feeling so included and happy. It couldn't be that bad.  
-

He can feel his fellow scientists' eyes on him. He tried his best to ignore it, but their gaze is (metaphorically) burning a whole in his back. He cleared his throat and casually turned around.

"Is something the matter?" he asks. 

"Those are some...ah...interesting shoes you've got on," the botanist, Kelly, says. She's staring at the Nightmare Boots Carlos bought the other day which had spontaneously combusted a few minutes prior. Good thing James had a water bottle on him. Carlos really should have taken Cecil's advice.

"Is that what you're worried about?" the astronomist, Barbara, shouts. "I mean, look at his shirt! It's a halter top!! A tye-dyed Halter Top!" Carlos' face immediately heated up, and he subconsciously crossed his arms and hunches forward a bit, muttering out a "Cecil said I looked cute in it..."

"Are you kidding me? Carlos, it looks just plain weird," Barbara said. Kelly reluctantly nodded, grimacing as a spark emitted from the boots. James hadn't looked up from the mushroom sample he had obtained, writing down notes about it's strangely gelatinous texture and cinnamon smell, but he made a noise to let them know he agreed with Barbara.

"You wouldn't last a second on Project Runway," he quipped. Carlos tried to argue, but he gave up, throwing his arms up in the air in exasperation and turning around to examine his cultures.

"You guys just don't know what fashion is," he grumbled. 

His relationship with his fellow scientists continued to deteriorate, peaking when Barbara falls victim to an especially gruesome Holiday. Kelly and James are horrified as the Secret Police drape a tissue, which has been messily colored black with a sharpie (the ban on writing utensils was not in place for undertakers), and placed it over what little remained of Barbara the astronomist. They notice Carlos yawning and looking completely undisturbed by the loss, and he meets their gazes, shrugging.

"Well these things happen. It's Night Vale."

They never comment on Carlos' fashion sense again.

-

Cecil is absurdly pleased. He is so pleased, that he is purring. Carlos looked absolutely ravishing like that. Lips swollen, pupils dilated, hair mussed up and all over the place. Unable to control himself, Cecil dove down and started to place hot, open mouthed kisses all over his neck, loving every keen and gasp it drew out from the scientist. He was positively giddy! He was drunk on happiness! Driven mad with love! Sweet Carlos, darling Carlos, showing up at his doorstep with a bouquet of carnivorous plant species and shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He had been wearing his best bellbottoms and tank top, his Thursday lab coat bleached to perfection and protecting his arms from the desert sun. 

Now, Cecil wasn't one to lose his cool, but how could he not when Carlos was handing him the deadly bouquet and reaching into his pockets for a portable bloodstone circle and rabbit skull? "I uh...heard this was the normal thing to do before a couple...you know...does all that paperwork." he had said. And Cecil couldn't help himself.

So now they were falling back onto Cecil's bed, panting and clutching each other's clothing. He'll admit, they would probably get in trouble with the Sheriff's Secret Police by doing this sort of activity before the Oath was taken, but Cecil was too excited to worry at the moment. In fact, he was too excited to remember that his human appearance was not how he really looked. Thankfully, he realized his guise was slipping just before the spikes came into play. That would have been most unfortunate.

"C-Cecil??"

Well actually it might still be unfortunate. "Uh...Y-Yes Carlos?"

"You...Uhm...You changed. A bit." Cecil frowned in concern, slowly removing himself from Carlos' person. Oh. Carlos...probably wasn't thinking like a true Night Valeian yet. Of course something like this would scare him. Carlos seemed to catch up on what Cecil was thinking, and quickly shook his head.

"It's not a bad thing!! I mean..Third eyes and..uhm...lavender skin is pretty normal, I guess. Well for here. The shark teeth might be a bit of an obstacle, but I mean. We could work around it. The moving tattoos of runes on your chest are pretty, er, neat. Uh...I'm just worried about the...bleeding from the eyes thing. Are you okay??" he asked. There was no indication in his voice that Carlos found any of this overly weird, and he had even called his tattoos neat! Cecil's frown quickly morphed into a grin, and he moved in to kiss his beloved scientist.

"Oh I'm perfectly fine! They just do that when I'm between forms, I hope you don't mind. If it's too weird and it bothers you, I could go bandage them for the time being," Cecil offered once he had pulled away. Carlos seemed to think about that before shaking his head.

"No, it's fine. It's not weird, I was just worried that you were hurt." 

"Oh, dear Carlos is worried about me! My heart is thumping to fast I feel like I'll go through cardiac arrest!"

Needless to say, Cecil's in-between form was definitely a must for any future bedroom activities.

-

"Dear Listeners, I have some truly wonderful news! Carlos the Scientist can no longer be referred to as an outsider! Night Vale has finally performed his initiation, and he made it through like a true Valeian! Unfortunately, I have a standard quota of prerecorded messages to get through, so that must be met first before I can continue on with the exciting news, Listeners!"

He spared a glance outside the window of he sound booth, and smiled. 

Carlos seemed to be enjoying his newly awarded jackalope.


End file.
